“Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy.Even love unreturned has its rainbow.”
― J.M. Barrie, The Little Minister
Unrequited love,and the pain it comes with!To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves,because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?Love is supposed to be beautiful when it is shared,right?Imagine that kind of love a person has for another,when the feeling is not mutual.
I was,as usual,going through my Goodreads,when I bumped into this quote.I wonder who hasn't been there:more the unhappy place,than the rainbows,anyway bit.
Neil Gaiman;Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.I hate love.
That was said about that feeling of needing to be with someone,so bad that when they are away from you,it hurts enough to hate love.But this kind of love;unrequited love...I have to admit,is so much better than a real one.I mean,it's perfect...As long as something is never even started,you never have to worry about it ending.It has endless potential.Silly,I know.It is easier this way,though...but the pain!
Unrequited love is near unconditional.Hurts more than brings joy..wait,the only joy you get,is bittersweet.Your smile fades,everytime you remember they can't love you back.Sad,huh?Problems get fixed,but unrequited love?Now,that,is a tragedy.Imagine waiting all your life,for hallo,or a phone ring,to prove you are not alone...
As a lover it's difficult not to project your boundless feelings of fondness onto the beloved. But when it becomes blatant that these feelings aren't recognized,and if so, certainly aren't reciprocated;the ensuing disappointment and hurt can be immeasurable. The famous line, "She [or he] doesn't even know I exist," is so familiar because the experience itself is so common. Which one of us hasn't at some time experienced the pangs of a love that's not reciprocated?
It's no wonder that so many poets have written about unrequited love. For when their emotions have become so overwhelming, so agitating, anxiety-laden, or consuming, how could they not be driven to search for just the right words, images, and metaphors to express,or better, release such intense feelings? And,almost like a bloodletting, such a discharge is likely to offer them at least some immediate relief. So throughout history,writers have painstakingly sought to transform their raw, overpowering feelings into a language as poignant,as "touching" and "moving," as this excruciatingly frustrating experience must have been for them.And their deeply personal need to give voice to such anguish was probably as urgent as the anguish itself.
Every broken heart has screamed at one time or another: "Why can't you see who I truly am?
"I prithee send me back my heart,
Since I cannot have thine;
For if from yours you will not part,
Why, then, shouldst thou have mine?"
~ John Suckling
Unrequited love is also the stuff that popular songs are made of.When I was 18,I could sing Taylor Swift's "Teardrops on my guitar" by heart!no,don't ask.Lord!
Songs About Unrequited Love
- I've Told You Now - Sam Smith
- If - Janet Jackson
- If Eilert Loevborg Wrote a Song, It Would Sound Like This - Broken Records
- If I Had You - The Korgis
- Invisible - Paul Weller
- Long Gone - Chris Cornell
- Losing My Religion - R.E.M.
- Love Untold - Paul Westerberg
- Lovestruck - Madness
- Loving You - Michael Jackson
- Luanne - Foreigner
- Mickey - Toni Basil
- Missing - Evanescence
- Monday Morning - Fleetwood Mac
- My Eyes Adored You - Frankie Valli
- My Never - Blue October
- Sick - New Hollow
Think,Adelle.My friend even thinks she is a sad person,just for the music she makes.I always thought every song of hers,takes you to a place you have been to...My favourite Whitney son(R.I.P) is also about not having a return in love,of the measure you gave to someone you would easily have died for."Saving all My Love" for a person that would never feel the same about you.Tough luck,eh?
". . . a final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works"
~ T. E. Kalem
Like I ever could write about love,unrequited..sigh.
this is nearly the saddest thing I have ever had to write about.
At least I did try...
..."To love and not be loved back,is the saddest part about giving love a chance.This is the curse of a lonely heart..."
PS:I know there should be beauty in love,unrequited,or returned,but the only rainbow I want is the one I can look at with him,smile in the moment,and think to myself,"Ah,I'm truly blessed to have him.But until then,let me stay alone,with my pieces/poems,and songs,and dreams,and hopes,that he feels the same...because it would kill me to find out that he doesn't.